say aim

Hello. It’s 1:45 in the morning and I’m on Tumblr to actually post an entry about something. Wow. Technology is great. Where are all my friends when I need them? Pity party. I’m serious though.

I’m not sure how I’m not depressed yet. I mean, I’m sad but I don’t plan on wasting my life away by crying my heart out every time I can and isolating myself. I don’t know, most of the time, I just suck it up and accept the fact that there are things that I don’t have control over.

One of those is life. I don’t have control over life, as much as I want to claim that I do. My emotions is another thing. I know that I usually say that I don’t have any, but I do. What kind of person doesn’t? Even if you’re a psychopath, you still have an emotion. They don’t need to be necessarily good; well, it all depends on your perspective.

How do I not have control over my emotions? I get into situations (not by choice) that are quite hard for me to process logically that my emotions start to kick in (i.e., I start crying), or I just explode with logic and feelings at the same time that I don’t know how or what I’m feeling (i.e., still crying). Oh wait, I think that might be called frustration. Sometimes, frustration that is caused by fear. And we all know that fear is the path to the dark side.